


Closer Than You Think

by priestessamy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ends around episode 61, F/F, Mild Spoilers, Pining, Starts around episode 41, Useless Lesbians, semi canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 15:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19403593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/priestessamy/pseuds/priestessamy
Summary: Jester finally confronts Fjord about their 'kiss'. When he shoots her down, she begins her own quest, of sorts, to find the person she was meant to be with. The truth comes out of nowhere.





	Closer Than You Think

Jester really thought that Nott had given her pretty good advice. After all, despite being kind of a strange little goblin, she hid a wisdom somewhere deep inside that made itself known every now and again. So she figured, you know, the concept of playing 'hard to get' wasn't the worst thing in the world. Jester maybe possibly sort of kind of had a bad tendency to just really lean into the fact that she had a stupid crush on Fjord. So perhaps the secret was to avoid those instincts altogether and be cool instead.

Which would have been fine. But in truth, she hadn't changed much, and then Fjord went and gave her that kiss of life when she was about to die! He had nobly sacrificed himself to keep her alive! You didn't get a sign bigger than that.

And if that kiss had something to do with the way Fjord felt about her, then she desperately wanted to finally get over it all and just find out the truth. She said one very quick prayer to the Traveler and then made her way onto the deck of the Squall Eater. He was currently standing way out at the bow, away from everything else. There wasn't likely going to be a much better chance than this. So she came sidling up to him, doing her best to keep her usual cheery grin on her face. “Heeeyyyy Fjord. I'm not bothering you, am I?”

“O'course not, Jester,” he replied with his usual easiness. Whether he actually meant it was not something she could actually parse out. But he said it was, so it was. That was the best way to deal with situations like these. “What's on yer mind?”

She cleared her throat softly, shuffling a little bit closer now. Her cheeks were already starting to go purple. Not a great start. “So I thought, you know, it was probably about time to maybe talk just a little bit about what happened back in the temple?”

He was mostly just watching the horizon, his face revealing nothing. “Yeah? Which part?” Like he didn't know. Like he wasn't expecting this talk to happen just like she was.

As much as she had wanted to be a responsible adult about this, the tendencies were still there. Jester huffed softly, and only just managed to not stamp her foot in her irritation. “The kiss!” One or two sailors turned toward her raised voice, then quickly averted their attention to something especially interesting. She hurried to drop her voice back down, trying again. “You saved my life, and your lips were on my lips, and it was just like something in one of my books, and I really thought that maybe it meant something, but now I'm thinking that if it meant something you would probably say something. And... you haven't said something. So it probably actually didn't mean anything.”

Finally his face shifted, which was good. But the sad look on that face was bad. His stupid handsome face. Made it hard to think around him. “Jester, this is probably gonna sound kinda stupid, but... Just because you put your lips on someone else's lips don't make it a kiss. A kiss is somethin' two people do together. Like a... mutual thing. This was far simpler'n that. You were drowning, dying, and I didn't want that to happen. So I gave you some air. Because let's be honest here, if someone else has to go the way of... of Molly? It ought to be me. All I got goin' for me is some big snake sleepin' under the earth. You've got a mom and a puppy and a weasel and The Traveler an'... You matter more than me. And I'm not interested in hearin' you say otherwise.”

“I am pretty great...” she said, trying to keep up with the tone so that things didn't stay too serious. Did he have to bring up Molly like that? Did he have to mention her almost dying and everything? “Um, so just to be perfectly clear then. Because I don't want to go barking up the wrong tree forever. This... isn't happening?”

Fjord didn't sugar-coat it, to his credit. He just shook his head and looked straight at her. “I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, Jester. You're a fine girl, and you're gonna make someone very happy, but it ain't gonna be me.” He shrugged, looking almost sad to be saying all this. And Jester had to resist the urge to ask him why in the world he was saying it if it made him sad. “I've never been all that interested in romance and mushy stuff and... It just don't call out to me the way it does to you.” Shockingly, he opened up his arms for an offering of a hug. “We cool?”

She didn't wait for him to ask a second time, launching at him like a blue canon ball, squeezing him tightly. “Of course, you big dummy! Sorry for, you know, being so weirdddd...”

* * *

That positive attitude lasted only about as long as it took Jester to get up into the crow's nest. There was technically already a pirate up there, doing his job. But Jester needed privacy so that she could have a proper sulk. And he only took a little bit of convincing to go away and work on something else. For a while, she just stood there, leaning up against the railing and staring at the waves below. Blue everywhere. No land in sight at the moment. Why did Fjord like this stuff? The boat was always moving and it made her feel kind of sick. And almost drowning really sucked.

Why had her crush been so strong? Because he was handsome, and nice to her, and pretty good at magic stuff? Or just because she'd read a smutty story about a dashing orc, maybe. Whatever it was, right now, she just felt like a total idiot asshole. A little puppy who just got excitable because someone cute was kind to her a couple times, never realizing that sometimes he could also be sort of a jerk.

It finally came to Jester in a flash, remembering something she and the Traveler had talked about a while ago. A promise he had made that now seemed to be crashing and burning. She looked up toward the sky, even though she knew he wasn't up there. “What happened...? I-I thought... You told me that if I went out and explored the world, I would find the person meant for me. You said I would be meeting them soon! So... So when I met Fjord, I thought that was the moment. But it wasn't. And now it's so many weeks later and I still haven't met my person and...” She trailed off, already running out of steam. Some people could maintain a pretty antagonistic relationship with their gods. Jester wasn't one of those people.

But something she said must have done the job, because the next thing she knew, a familiar figure in a green robe was idly walking along the railing of the crow's nest as though it were a fanciful walk through a meadow. “Jester~” he said peacefully, and it calmed her immediately, like it always did. “Have I ever steered you wrong? Even when things seem to be their darkest, you have survived and come out the other side to bring chaos once again.”

She sighed sadly, propping her chin up on her crossed arms, staring at the horizon once again. “Then... what am I doing wrong? I don't have any grand quests like the others, but I feel like this is really important to me. This... This is my quest! And I'm really bad at it.”

There was no swift movement. One moment he was on the railing, the next he was right next to her. The Traveler gently put a hand on her back, giving it a soothing rub. “No journey ever happens in leaps and bounds without effort. Sometimes you will trip, or fall. But always you are moving forward, even when you move backwards. That is the nature of traveling on the road of life.”

It happened sometimes. He could be a little... overly-certain of things and he would just speak in circles around the issue. Jester's head hurt, trying to follow his train of logic sometimes. “W-Whatttt? Traveler, that doesn't make any sense. If you're going backwards, you can't go forwards!”

A gentle laugh filled the air around her, or... probably just inside her head. Whenever the Traveler spoke, she always felt like it was inside her head. It was so delightful, and it went a long way to keep her from losing her cool. “Suppose you're walking towards a destination, and you slip and fall into the mud. So you go to the nearest town instead, to clean up and buy new clothes. But that means delaying your journey. While in that town, you meet someone in the tavern. You flirt and you laugh. You fall in love. A year later you have a home of your own and a ring on your hand. You would never have reached that wonderful destination if you did not first fall in the mud and go the wrong way.”

“Oh...” she said after some silence, feeling appropriately admonished now. “So you're saying that I'm still on the right path then. But maybe the 'right path' isn't the one I'm... walking??” Metaphors were hard, and dumb, but she was trying.

“Something like that. Are you feeling better about things now?”

Jester wasn't sure if she was, exactly, but she felt... less bad anyway. And that was something pretty good. “Yeeaahh, I think maybe sort of? It helped, anyway. So... thank you Traveler.” She wrapped him up in a tight hug, squeezing him tightly and humming happily. The Traveler really was the best, and she hoped someday that he would have lots and lots of followers. He deserved it. “Go on. I know you have lots of stuff to do out there.”

He laughed again, and hugged her back just as tightly. “I do, but you should know that I am always honored to speak with you, Jester. It's important to me that you know how much I love you.”

“I love you tooooo~”

He was gone, but his voice was in her mind for a moment longer. One final parting message to throw a wrench into the works. “Also, just to clarify, I wasn't wrong. I believe you may have already met someone, and let them close to your heart. You need only put the pieces together.”

* * *

“You are sweet on Fjord though, ja?”

Jester's chest grew a little tight at Caleb's question. Just a few days ago, she might have said yes, become a bit starry-eyed, and gotten some advice from her friend. But after the other day, everything felt different. She wasn't 'sweet' on him any longer. “Mmmmm, Fjord iiissss... he's like... I mean, he's great. But I'm not so sure that I'm really interested in him that way anymore. You know?” A name flashed into her mind and she gasped softly. “Caleb! You've been in love before, haven't you?”

Now it was his turn to start looking uncomfortable. “Hm, in love? Nein, I can't say that for certain.”

“But what about that lady? You said her name that one time, you know when we were drunk and dancing, and you called me Astrid.”

He gave a long, low sigh, full of exhaustion. “There was a girl, once, named Astrid. And, to use my own phrasing against me, ja, you could say we were sweet on each other. But that was quite some time ago now, another life really.”

Jester could tell that he was gearing up to redirect the conversation, but she wasn't ready to give up just yet. “Okay okay okay okay okay, hold on. Let's just... Okay, we don't have to talk specifics. Just... Alright. How... How did you know? What was it like? You can be general about it if you want! I just... I don't think I understand how stuff works in real life, you know? Just books I've read.”

Something in her word-vomit had appealed to him, and he gave it legitimate consideration. “Well. Let's just say that situations like that can be messy. All romance is kind of messy. Especially when you're young, as I was, as you still are. The heart is doing one thing and the body is doing another thing and sometimes you cannot keep your hands off one another and sometimes you start fighting about things and none of it makes any sense. But... when it is good... it is very good.” For just a moment, he got a wistful little smile, so unlike himself. “So then, you are no longer entranced by our orc friend? That is quite a change.”

Caleb wasn't the only one who didn't want to share a ton of information just yet. Especially when one of the parties involved wasn't around to speak up for himself. But if she didn't explain at least some part of the situation, rumors could pass around the Nein like wildfire. “I finally realized he didn't feel the same.” She spoke as plainly as she could, though it still hurt to think too hard about it. “And it didn't make sense to pour all that energy into flirting with him. But someday, I'll find someone who likes my flirting! Someone who can flirt back! Someone... sassy...” For just a moment, though Jester didn't know it, there was a spark in her eye. “They'll be as strong as me too. And just as cool! Or... well, no, I'll still be the coolest. But they'll be a close second.”

Something funny must have popped into Caleb's mind at that moment because he began to chuckle softly, getting up from the table. “I want to ensure the rest of our compatriots haven't gotten themselves in too much trouble. With any luck, we'll be back soon and we can start making our plans for the evening. Some kind of mischief, no doubt.”

Jester could only sit there and wonder what was so funny.

* * *

Having a ship all their own, somehow Jester knew that would spell both adventure and trouble. It also had her worrying that it might be ages before she got to see her mom again. Needless to say, her emotions were in something of a whirl. So when Beau came up out of nowhere to chat for a while about their childhoods, and the conversation ending on the two of them definitely being friends, it felt... really good. And maybe that was why she hugged her so fiercely from behind in that moment. Maybe that was why hearing the other woman say “I love you” put so much love in her heart, and she responded in kind so excitedly. Because she was feeling sad, and Beau made her feel better.

It was kind of funny, in retrospect. They were already friends, weren't they? Jester certainly thought so. They always shared rooms, and they talked about stuff all the time. It seemed so simple. But to hear it out loud was something she didn't even realize she needed to hear.

Her good mood was somewhat interrupted by Yasha's encounter with a ball of lightning. Despite her best attempts to help, it turned out that it was something Yasha had to do alone. Which was like... come on, the biggest cliché ever?? But Yasha did make it through, because of course she did, Yasha was a badass. Somehow, that event led to the two of them sharing tea with Caduceus. And Jester could never find a reason to be upset about that. Even if some of the others were weirded out because it came from dead people. But it was just like Cad always said, everything comes from dead people.

To hear about Yasha's wife was... just huge. The biggest deal. For a while, the only thing Jester could do was sit there and listen with rapt attention, eyes wide and full of wonder. Even if the story had a sad end, she couldn't help but get drawn in. Something about it burrowed into her mind and wouldn't let go. “...Yasha...?” Her voice was small, like speaking in her normal tone might shatter the room. “Can I ask you something? About the two of you?”

Yasha, bless her, seemed to give it some very real consideration. As if she were weighing her heart and trying to decide how much she could take. “Yes, Jester, you can. What is it?”

“How... How did you know? That she was the woman you wanted to marry?” The question felt so fragile, and she so desperately needed to hear the answer. Even if maybe nobody understood why she was asking.

The barbarian just smiled pleasantly and shook her head. “It was nothing I could easily explain in just a few words. It was so many things, big and small. A smile here, a touch there. She made me laugh. She made me think. I never had much of a connection to the world of spirits and magic, but sometimes I almost thought I could see an aura around her. It... drew me in.” This was more than Jester had maybe ever heard Yasha speak before. And for a moment, she was smiling, so real and natural. It was lovely. “I think... I should go rest. Attempting to kill a lightning monster can make one tired.” She stood up and gave them both a little nod before heading toward her sleeping quarters.

A little chuckle, followed by a soft sipping noise as he finished up his tea. “So Jester. A copper for you thoughts.”

Groaning dramatically, she buried her face into her arms, not immediately offering up any kind of response. Cad was always scary-good at knowing how to read someone, considering the guy lived in a freaking swamp all his life. The Wildmother must have really blessed him with insight. “Um, okay so... I finally talked to Fjord about... 'things'. And... he wasn't really interested? But the Traveler promises me that there's someone out there for me. So. So I'm just trying to figure out what I can do to... to figure out who it's supposed to be!” She finally poked her eyes back up over her crossed arms. Sure enough, Caduceus had that usual warm look on his face, and he just nodded sagely, as if he understood perfectly. Which was impressive considering how she talked in circles.

“You know, I've never really been one for love myself. But a few years ago, me and the whole clan had a big gathering. Pretty much everyone else came along with their mates, their children, that kind of thing. It was real nice. So much positive energy. And you know me, I'm always curious about those close to me. I had to ask them lots of questions about how they met, what it was like having all those little tykes around, that kind of thing.” The guy could wax on about damn near anything if you gave him the space to go wandering. And he always ended up reaching some kind of comforting point, so Jester was happy to let him do it. “Anyway, y'know, the thing I got from all of it was... The best stuff always comes from not trying too hard, not waiting around. And sometimes, you gotta be willing to just go with it. I mean... hell, that's how I ended up here. I'm working at the Blooming Grove, and in come a bunch of weirdos. And they seem really interesting, so I say to myself yeah why not. And now I'm a pirate! So, yeah. All that is to say: follow your heart. Which is pretty boring advice. But hopefully some of this helps?”

At some point in all his talking, Jester realized that she actually _did_ feel pretty good now. She had lost bits and pieces of his narrative, and the ending advice was pretty old-fashioned. But just the way he spoke, it always made Jester feel better. So she got up and hugged him tight, realizing that she was doing a lot of hugging lately. “It does. Thank you, Caddy. You're the best!”

* * *

It felt so good to be back in Nicodranas. To be home. To be with her mother again. Being a pirate for a while was cool. But you couldn't beat that amazing feeling of bundling up in your mother's arms and greeting her cheerfully. It didn't even matter that the Mighty Nein had to hit the road again soon. For just this brief beautiful moment, Jester was able to eke out just a little more time with the Ruby of the Sea.

The others were downstairs drinking, but since she wasn't a drinker anyway, she instead opted to steal a bit of alone time with her mom instead. “So, my sapphire, you have told me of your adventures out on the open sea – at least those I am comfortable hearing about. But you have not told me the full details about all of your friends.” Jester was a bit confused. She felt as though she had done a pretty good job of describing each of the Nein to her. Her head canted to the side slightly, a hum of confusion slipping out. Which only made Marion break out in that bright laughter so many longed to hear, yet so few ever did. “What I mean, my darling, is... You spend all your time with these people. They are your friends and confidants. But I wonder if perhaps one of them hasn't stolen your heart yet? You were always such a romantic as a child...”

Jester's face felt hot. Trust a mother to start digging in deep to get all the _real_ answers. And worse, she wasn't sure if she really had anything to tell her. So she just kept silent.

That just made Marion grin and poke her playfully in the shoulder. “Ahhh, perhaps they have and you do not even realize it? Hmmmm, the scruffy one? No, he is not quite right. Ahh, the orc, he's strapping and charming.” Well, that was an entire confusing situation right there. Until recently, that was what Jester had been hoping for. But Fjord had proven to not be the one at all. She shook her head slowly. “No? Ah, a shame, but we cannot help how our hearts work, eh little sapphire? I cannot imagine it is the pink one. He seems to be somewhat asexual – in a good way. I don't imagine your goblin friend is quite your type. Hmmm, the large woman? She's very handsome.”

That last guess felt... almost correct...? Not on the nose, but it was treading into territory that Jester was...

Well, it was something like standing on the edge of a very tall cliff. And knowing you could jump down there and be completely safe. No matter how much you understood intellectually that you would survive, it still terrified you. But! If you made that leap, down there in the valley, was a wonderful world of rainbows and unicorns and candy. You just had to... jump.

“Ah~” Jester looked back at her, confused. Had she said something out loud? That happened sometimes. Her mouth would get away from her. But she was pretty sort of certain she didn't say anything about this one. And yet, her mother seemed to hone in on it immediately. “What was her name? Beauregard? You two seemed to have a very nice energy between you.” Her smile became a little bit more knowing. “If I'm not mistaken, the two of you have occasionally gotten into friendly little sparring matches. There is a kind of similarity between fighting and... other things, no?”

Yes, her face was on fire now. And her mother was just watching intently. What was she supposed to say here? Could you just agree to something with someone else when you hadn't agreed to it wholly yourself? So she shrugged her shoulders, unable to look directly at her. “Beeaauu is... really cool. And she is very pretty. And very funny. But!” Jester threw up her hands defensively. “But... she's just a friend. She's a part of the Nein. You know, just like all those other people you mentioned, people that I'm very close to but... but that's all it is! She's not... Sh-She wouldn't...” Oh dear. It was happening. Her mouth was threatening to run away from her. And she was losing her grip on it. “Really mom, you're ridiculous. Someone as amazing as Beau definitely wouldn't be interested in me...” And there it was. The thing she kept dancing around, refusing to think too hard about, for a while now. Beau was the kind of person who had a girl sent to her room to fool around with, or had a fun little tryst with the burly dwarf, or whatever other crazy things she'd done that Jester didn't even know about. Just like Fjord, she didn't seem capable of being romantic. And Jester knew that she was looking for _Romance_. If she let herself fall for another badass who didn't share her need for deep affection, her heart was in danger of breaking.

But now she was thinking about it. She was imagining blue robes against her blue skin. Well-tanned arms wrapping around her. That throaty little laugh. Oh shit. She was really thinking about falling now. About taking that leap over the cliff. Her heart was breaking pre-emptively. Her eyes filled with tears, and Marion was holding her in an instant, brushing her hair gently. “Oh, my poor baby girl. No no no, you mustn't cry. We should never cry over things that haven't even happened.”

A little sob bubbled up out of her, followed by a hiccup. Even if it made Jester feel like she was ten again, she tried to soak up all this motherly love. “But I already tried to follow my heart once before and Fjord said he wasn't interested and so I asked the Traveler what I should do and he said that I already knew the person I'm meant to be with and even though I've met a lot of people I still don't know that many and Beau is so amazing, but she isn't really all that touchy-feely, and if I fall in love with her then I'm just going to get hurt again and I'll be alone forever!!” It all just came spilling out and she couldn't stop it any longer. She was crying and blubbering and probably super snotty, but her mother didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

“Yes, I know, it can be very difficult. But would you like to hear some good news?” Gods yes. Mom knew everything. Mom could make it better. Jester nodded enthusiastically. “Your friends sound a little bit like your mother. I used to be quite the heart-breaker. I never thought I would find real love anywhere. And then I had you. And you brought so much light and joy into my life. And if you can make the Ruby of the Sea become soft-hearted, then I'm sure you can do the same for this woman who has you so twisted up inside...”

Leave it to Marion to know just what to say. Giggling softly, Jester nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around her mother in return, squeezing her. Yes, hugs were a central part of her life. She would hug everyone. She would hug Beau again, and perhaps someday she would tell her that she loved her, for real.

* * *

The talk with her mother had been mere speculation really. Jester couldn't be sure that she definitely really did love Beau, not at the time. It was only the spark of an idea at the time.

But then the Four Corners happened.

It had pretty much just started as a joke, that the two of them would leap into the fray in order to try and get some attention. And even knowing that the two of them would have to trade blows – it wouldn't be the first – she still went along with the idea with extra gusto. There in the middle of the melee, as she got taken out and watched Beau trading blow after blow with the strange drow monk, she felt it there, right there. In her chest, that spark became a flame. There was no good reason for it, no strict logic to follow. She only understood that no matter what the danger was, she would happily follow her through it all. She would get her back. She would heal her, or fight her, or whatever was necessary.

There wasn't a ton of time to think about that too much though, granted. Before she knew it, they were heading off after the drow woman, down some sketchy alley, only to have it revealed that this was actually Dairon. This was the woman who trained Beau, who met her for midnight sessions, the reason she'd come back to their room covered in bruises and smiling like crazy. Could Jester ever get her to smile like that? Jester wasn't sure. The only thing she knew was that Beau would never possibly look that way at her, with so much reverence and adoration.

Back in the Four Corners that night, sleeping bundled up with all the girls, she pretended to sleep as she watched Beau disappear for her training session. She lay there the entire time, waiting for her to return, and she never did, not even by the time everyone started waking up. They found her shortly thereafter, waiting for them with a mug of ale and a shit-eating grin.

So yeah, a few days later, when Caleb and Beau were pretending to be slaves for their cover story, maybe she took a little too far. Maybe she propped her feet up on her friend. For a few moments, it felt really good. A lovely kind of payback. But it only lasted a few brief minutes, and for the rest of the day, she mostly just felt like an asshole.

* * *

Jester felt like she was waiting for the right time, and her waiting was starting to take a rather long time. So when the Mighty Nein was gifted with its own freaking house, she felt like maybe there wouldn't be a better sign than that. It would have been enough just to be living under the same roof as her friend. But on a whim, she had suggested they take a room together. There was no reason for it, there were plenty of rooms in the house. They could have just taken adjacent rooms. But Beau put up zero resistance to the idea. If anything, she was even more excited, throwing open doors and scanning each room to find the most prime piece of real estate.

A home. Not just somewhere like Nicodranas where she had grown up, where her mother lived. But a home that she was building herself with this new-found family. And if Jester didn't finally take that leap off the cliff soon, she worried she never might. So. Best to just... do it then.

The two of them were getting changed, winding down for bed. It was a perfect week they spent not getting nearly killed on a constant basis. As much as Jester loved adventuring, there was no denying that this had its own draw too. This was warm and gentle. Yeah. It was home. And what better place than home to figure out just how deep the love went?

Jester cleared her throat softly and sat down on the edge of her bed, reaching for her journal as if she was going to draw in it despite the fact that she definitely had bigger things on her mind right now. But it was important to play it cool at times like these. Definitely. “...Beau?”

“What's up, Jessie?” That nickname had been basically started by Beau, and every time she used it, it made Jester's heart do a little flip in her chest.

“Umm, sooo...” Oh shit. Jester hadn't really thought out what she actually wanted to say here. Despite having thought about it for hours at a time as they went marching around on their various missions, she didn't know what words to use. So, she did the Jester thing instead. “Okay. Okay okay okay okay. So... back when I first left Nicodranas, the Traveler promised me that I would probably meet the love of my life. Or, well, something like that. He can be kind of vague sometimes. Anyway, I sort of just always thought it was Fjord because that made sense at the time. He was so handsome and strong and... Well, you know. He's not your type, but you probably get it. Except he just never felt the same for me, as hard as I tried. And he turned me down one night while we were on the Ball Eater when it was still the Squall Eater. And so I talked to the Traveler about it and he said that he wasn't lying and that I probably already knew the love of my life.” Her voice was following its usual pattern when she was stressed, rising to ridiculous pitches before sinking down just as low. “Which I thought, like, okay weird. I know some people but I don't know that many people. But I was talking with everyone else about stuff, including my mom, and maybe the truth is that actually you're kind of the most awesome person I know! Aaaaaaaaaand maybe I've been nursing a kind of massive fucking crush on you for a while?? And that's, like, a huge shocker to me because I really thought I was mostly just into dudes.”

“Well, considering how much you draw dicks, I kinda figured the same thing...” Beau muttered softly, at which point both of them broke out in bright laughter. It went on long enough that someone knocked on the wall and told them to keep it down. The monk quickly got up and moved over to Jester's bed, sitting down next to her. “I'm glad I was wrong,” she said, her voice much lower than before.

Jester stared at her dumbly for a moment or two. “Seriously?”

“Well yeah. Come on, Jester, you have to know how awesome you are, right? I mean, seriously. You're so badass and you've got muscles like _blaow_ and you're always playing pranks. You jump into fights without missing a beat. You're cute twenty-four-seven. I mean, I always thought we were just doing the roommate thing because that was who you were as a person...”

Jester giggled and shook her head. “I thought the same thing. I mean, I liked rooming with you for lots of reasons! I was always pretty lonely as a kid, so the fact that I always had someone around meant a lot. Like a sister. Except then I wanted you to be more than a sister. But... you always seemed more like the type who went after um... y'knowwww like... other types. Like Keg.”

Beau swallowed, and to Jester's surprise, her eyes actually started to mist up a little. “Oh. Yeah. No. That...You were gone, Jessie. And... we were hot on your trail, for sure. But Molly died and... and for all I knew, we'd find the three of you dead too. Or sold off to some... awful place. And even when we got you back, I just knew that you and Fjord would be even closer by that point. So I figured, fuck it. Why not just go for it? And it was good. But she had to take off and we both knew that.”

That wasn't a narrative Jester had been expecting. “I thought that was just how you were.” She paused, trying to decide how much to say. But she'd already said everything. There was no point in holding back now. “What about Dairon?”

The immediate change in Beau's face told the entire story in a split second. She broke out in the biggest grin ever, as if Jester had just told her some kind of awful joke. “Seriously?? Don't get me wrong, Dairon can probably, like, _get it_. But me and her? Pfffftttt, no fucking way. She's my teacher. Getting with her would be just... wrong,” she said with a visible shudder.

All of this was great news. But it didn't answer the ultimate question still sitting right there in the front of her mind. “What about... something more long-term? Not just a one-night stand. The whole deal. Um, with me, specifically.”

She braced herself for bad news. But she couldn't have expected to feel Beau's hand coming to rest against her cheek. “It would be super new for me, don't get me wrong. But I feel like if I had to be attached to only one person for the rest of my life, I couldn't do better than Jester Lavorre herself.” Slowly, she leaned forward, and before she knew it, their lips were pressing together softly. It was strange, the way her books made it sound, she'd been expecting more in the way of magic and fireworks. This felt a bit more like being healed – soft and warm and invigorating. It wasn't over in a flash. The embrace went on for quite some time. Occasionally it picked up, but it never became hot and heavy. Jester liked it a lot. Like, a whole lot. This felt like home.

“Hey, you were carpenter on the Ball Eater, right? Think you can figure out how to combine our two beds into one superbed?”

“I can probably make that happen~”

* * *

Word about them spread fast. Not like they were trying to keep it a secret. They went around holding hands and sharing meals while giggling and whispering to each other. Everyone figured it out pretty damn fast. But it became real toward the end of their first week there at Xhorhaus. The two were enjoying their morning relaxing in the warm sunlight that fell on their superbed, snuggled up together, a tangled mass of limbs. Their reverie was interrupted by soft knocking, followed by the sound of Caleb's voice. “Erh, lovebirds? I have been sent to inform you we're leaving in an hour for our audience with the Bright Queen. If you're late, Fjord will probably be a bit cross. To quote the man himself, 'no exceptions will be made, no matter how storybook the romance may be'. Though he was smiling, so I'm not entirely certain how to read it.”

“God, we get it, asshole. Can a couple girls get a little privacy?” Beau glared at the door, as though Caleb could sense it through the thick wood. Maybe he could.

“I would relent, believe me. But I seem to recall Jester is the one who has done most of the scrying into our friend's dirty deeds, so we rather need her. We can probably do without you, if need be, monk.” That seemed to be the end of the matter until they heard the telltale scratching at the door by Frumpkin. He'd left the little bastard behind to annoy them into getting out of bed. He was crafty, that one.

“Okay okay okay. The Mighty Nein, heroes of the dynasty, are needed. We'll have to pick this up another time.” Jester groaned and climbed out of the bed after extricating herself from Beau's grasp. Still sleepy, she hunted around for her clothes and armor. There was work to be done, and there was a comfort in knowing that the woman she loved would always be right there next to her. No matter what.


End file.
